Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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