There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
