Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
