We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
