My first STD was from a foam party
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
