the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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