I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
