I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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