it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
