can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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