forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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