ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
