I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
