tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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