what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
