Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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