My nipple is on Facebook.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
