Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
