You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sober January is a disaster.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
