i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
