Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
