We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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