Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
