where am i from again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
