someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
