Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
