I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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