Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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