Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
