just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
