who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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