i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
