i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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