I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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