i just google imaged poop.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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