Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Alive.
So much puke
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize