whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
