sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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