I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Boobs are out for the taking
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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