I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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