I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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