if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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