wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
