Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
