you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
