Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
