I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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