his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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