5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
