Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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