There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
