weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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