Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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